Lot of things happened towards the end of last year. We were not in touch for about 5 months or so.  But we started being in touch since September or October. Things became more complicated. I wanted her to actually move on and be happy, coming out of this complicated thing. I didn’t go back to her for more than 5 months. She pinged me on insta asking how am I. (Though I was also tempted to send her a message but resisted myself, sent Hi couple of times but unsent it cuz i felt guilty to start that again) when she pinged me asking how i am, we spoke casually. In few days she says she is ok for casual conversation every now and then. I was struggling to move on even till then. I wasn’t able to look for other profiles for marriage. This conversations went next level when one day she sent an emotional message starting with something like, was it so difficult being with me, etc… Ending with some message about her marriage progress. This emotional message triggered back the feelings in my mind to front. I couldn’t resist. I was chating with her about this and told her the truth that i wasn’t able to move on and i am in the same mind set. It all started again. Now she is gone, moved on. She doesn’t want this. She told me all possible words that I can’t hear from her. I am still the same, in the same mindset, not being able to forget her. I was only running away from as it was heavy to handle, the emotion. I should have taken a stand at some time. I feel horrible. Couldn’t sleep at all last two days and been walking with anxiety for more than 20km a day. I am scared that i will go completely mad, or that my life is gone as i am not able to forget her still and couldn’t tolerate this pain.

She does not have a link to this topic, nor does she know the title so she can’t read this.