Dear Lindsey:

Happy belated Birthday!

“I organized my daughter’s 10th birthday party at a paint your own pottery place and it went very well.  I dressed them up for Valentine’s Day“- I love reading about how involved you are in your kids’ lives, how you are making their childhood special!

“Last Thursday we had a major snowstorm- 8-10 inches, so the kids were home with me going to school online” – we have 2-3 inches of snow here since last night/ this morning, enough for a Christmassy look.

“He was still in love with his wife and is almost positive she cheated on him… Can someone heal in 3 years and move on to a healthy relationship that could be long lasting?” – Yes! His healing doesn’t have to be complete, by the way, just enough to allow for a healthy relationship.

“This new revelation made me worried.  Is this guy ready for what may lie ahead?” – depends on what lies ahead. What you do in the relationship is part of what lies ahead for him and for you.

“Is this a common reason people get divorced? Yes, I think so” – I agree, and it’s unfortunate.

“I would not be for a long time-maybe 3 years?  He did state this is long term as he does not do short hookups/casual relationships normally” – seems to me that he is inclined to be with you long-term, from what you shared.

“I’m talking about boyfriend/girlfriend-what if he decides this is too much?  He stated that he is very Leary of getting hurt and wants to enjoy what we have now” – he needs you to be gentle and patient with him, not pushy with questions and otherwise. Assertive- yes, Aggressive- no.

“Am I ready?  Because I’m also not really thinking past how great things are now.  Do I want to introduce him to my kids? It’s a passing thought only. I mean it’s not anytime soon. It’s causing anxiety again and I would appreciate any advice-if there is any to give” -first, I am excited for you because this is the first time since we communicated that I am optimistic about a relationship you are having. Second, regarding introducing him to your kids, bring it up to him…  maybe in the Fall of this year. Talk about it with him before making this happen so that there is a clear mutual understanding and agreement in regard to what it would mean, for him to be introduced to your kids.

anita

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