Thanks for your reply Anita I started to notice I was troubled maybe not depressed when I was around 18 years of age with my first serious girlfriend. I developed trust issues and consequently lost my girlfriend due to my infidelity. I have had and I am currently having Therapy which always goes back to my parents break up due to my mothers infidelity and always being told how to think and feel about myself through my early teens. I feel my parents have always kept their lives private from me and we only communicate on a superficial level I feel others perhaps share a deeper connection with their parents. I look back and feel that whoever I was died with my first girlfriend leaving me my paranoid personality took over and I’ve lived a lie ever since.