Hugs Link.  My mother was undiagnosed as I was growing up, and wasn’t until much later that she was diagnosed with severely unstable bipolar disorder and for a long time could not be controlled with meds.  She spent around a year in a psychiatric institution and had multiple treatments of electric shock therapy.  She has been in aged care facility now for a number of years.  Not sure I have answers though I do emoathasise.  My older sister has a very aggressive personality and I just cant be around her much because sooner or later, she will manipulate for a nasty fight – not just with me.  Sorry you have been through this.