Dear Jess:

“Maybe I can tell him we can still be friends or is that a bad idea? He is my good friend since I’ve been with him since I was a teenager. This sucks, I don’t want to never see him or laugh with him again” – you can tell him that you don’t want to never see him or laugh with him again and ask him if he would like to be friends later on, after some time passes, a year maybe, after the two of you (separately, having no contact with each other) move on from the romantic part of your relationship and can benefit from a friendship only.

“I have a huge procrastination issue and it stresses me out dealing with the situation, but also putting it off makes it even more stressful” – if you continue to procrastinate dealing with the situation, the situation will deal with you, in a sense. Let’s say, you feel too guilty to turn down the ex, so you start behaving in ways that will turn the new guy off, so… that the new guy will end it with you and that way, you will be back with the ex.

Your difficulty, as the title of your thread indicates, is: “Can’t choose between my ex and a new guy“. You might then make a choice indirectly by starting to see the new guy negatively, talking yourself into not liking him, leading to the ending of this new relationship, and alone… you figure, why not go back to the ex.

Guilt is a powerful state of mind. I hope it is not too powerful in your mind and heart!

anita