Dear Jess:

Congratulations for having had this talk, for making it happen last Friday!

“I definitely feel better for being open and honest” – good. You did well.

“He brought up that he’s trying to move on, and he’s interested in someone else” – he is not only trying to move on, he already moved on: he moved on enough to feel an interest in another woman and to pursue that interest to one extent or another.

“then again, he later said I would always go back to you if you wanted me back.. He said he still feels a connection with me and it will never go away even in 10 years” – how can he possibly know that he would always want to go back to you and that the connection with you will never go away: he can’t predict the future.

Plus, by saying this, he is saying that he will be willing to leave the future mother of his children, and his future children… for you, if you want him back.

“he’s interested in someone else… He said that’s the difference between us because he knows what he wants, he wants to date to marry” – well, he better not marry another woman and leave her (and his children!) if you wanted him back. What would that do to his children???

“we won’t be able to hangout as friends because it just wouldn’t end well considering we still love each other, and the new guy/girl wouldn’t be happy with that” – good thinking, good plan!

“considering we still love each other… I thought he was my soulmate, and we would be together since high school” — please consider letting go of this teenage one-love-soulmate-forevermore romantic idea. Be open to… no longer love him. You will be able to love another man, a better, healthier love.

“I haven’t had much experience outside our relationship” – this is my point above, you deserve a better experience, a healthier relationship with someone else. This forever-teenage love idea fits a teenager/ very early 20s woman, please let it go as you proceed into your 20s and 30s. I am guessing that what’s ahead of you, at this point, is mourning this idea of a one-love-forevermore idea. Is this what you are feeling, a mourning of this idea?

anita