Hi Mary

I think it can be used in different contexts and mean different things.

Some people said that my husband was too much because he is loud, friendly, positive and outgoing. The people that said that were shy introverts.

Friends can use the phrase in a jokey way while laughing. “Oh, you’re too much!”

My sister often feels that she is too much because she has difficulties and worries about bringing others down or her emotions overwhelming others. She has been treat poorly by others.

I think it is difficult for some people to emotionally distance themselves from situations and give others the space they need to express themselves. A lot of people are hurt when their loved ones are in pain. I think that most of the time in these situations, people just need someone to listen and care about them without overly being involved in the situation. It is easier said than done!

I have a friend who has difficulties with some of  her “friends” as she is experiencing difficult circumstances and talks about them. They feel emotionally brought down by her discussing these issues so they don’t want her to talk about it anymore. It is very painful going through difficult circumstances alone without being able to discuss it with people you care about. We all seek comfort and reassurance from loved ones.

Personally, I don’t believe in matching vibes. I can be happy, whilst someone else is sad and vice versa. What is important is communicating appropriately.

I think it’s entirely appropriate to set boundaries when you need to. If mental space is already limited, it’s fine to say “Please can we talk about this another time? I would like to be present and give you the care and attention this needs but I’m not able to do that right now. I’m feeling X, Y, Z myself.”

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Helcat.