Hi Eric

I would agree with you that your past is the source of the issue. I’m sorry that your parents scolded you and shamed you by comparing your grades to others when you got bad grades as a child.

Do you want to work in the family business? What is it that you want to do? Do you have any interests or hobbies that you are passionate about?

When i asked my parents on what is my sister doing right now… she told me that she’s studying now unlike you that time (my sister is really smart, she’s smarter than me at my age)… well they said it with no intention of hurting me… but then i feel really ashamed of myself after hearing those words…

I disagree with you that there was no intention of hurting you. Whilst your parents no longer scold you, this habit of shaming you by comparing you to others has remained. Your parents could have simply said that she was studying and left you out of it.

Perhaps you could try talking to your parents and ask them to stop comparing you to others? Do you think they would be receptive to this?

I think academic performance is very much influenced by our parents. This can certainly follow us into adulthood.

You can’t change your past, but what you can do is forgive yourself and potentially make an effort to learn about interests, hobbies and develop new skills, if this is something that you have an interest in? You could also make an effort to take notice of when you do something intelligent or skillful to build up your confidence in this area.