Thank you Helcat. I will do what you suggested. I started to see a therapist before everything with so wrong. I do feel hurt by it and I feel alot of shame for my behavior and that I let it go on for so long. If I coulda stopped without her finding out that I was dating other women then it wouldn’t have hurt her so much. I took away her trust in me and in people. It was a mess already and I made it messier with my lies. I know that I gotta work on my empathy and why I felt like I needed to hide. and why I enjoyed feeling shamed and humiliated by her and him.

David