Dear miyoid:

“I rejected a friend that will have a hard time staying alone tonight. She will spend the night alone, and so will I. And I told her that I needed to spend some time alone” – excellent job at asserting yourself tonight, I am glad to read this!

“There are two girls… I feel exhausted now, it has been a lot. And I’ve been explaining them how I feel that way, and how I should just stop. They understand, they don’t get upset. However, they continue on telling me, ranting me, crying at me about the things they experience. They do that because they know I won’t judge, or I wouldn’t get angry with them for making the same mistakes…. they open up to me, and then I understand, try to give an insight and emotional support” –

– Notice that (1) even though you offered them insight, again and again, they keep making the same mistakes, again and again. This means, doesn’t it, that they are not interested in your insight and are ranting to you simply because they want someone/ anyone (insight irrelevant), whomever is willing to endure their ranting patiently, with no anger, no complaints.

(2) They appeared to understand your asserted boundaries but failed to respect your assertion, in so doing they disrespect you, don’t they?

“My boyfriend that I mentioned thinks I should stop babysitting them, even though I feel like this is just support, not babysitting” – your boyfriend is quite insightful when saying that you are babysitting them as they cry and rant etc. Like I suggested right above, they are not interested in your insight; they are interested in your patient presence, someone to be there. It’s unwise for you to be their babysitter when you are not paid for it, isn’t it?

anita