Hi Jill

I’m sorry for what happened. I don’t think it was meaningless, just not what you thought. I doubt you’ll get any answers out of him sadly.

At the moment he sounds like a very sick man. I expect that if his mental health issues hadn’t severely relapsed he would probably still be with you and hiding his marriage.

It might hurt to know the truth. But it is the truth.

It might not help him to express your feelings. But it might help you. How you choose to express your feelings and with whom, that is up to you. If you don’t want to talk to him, you could write a letter and include all of the things you wish that you could say.