Dear hope:

“My mind went into a spiral about my current relationship. Thoughts like do I love him? … It made me feel so wrong and guilty…  My mind is fixated on…  thoughts like ‘you should feel something for him all the time‘ or ‘this isn’t normal not feeling anything‘…

“I’ve lived with my parents my whole life. My dad is normally at work during the day and my mom is normally the one home more. It has always been like that” –

– In the last two months, your mind has been fixated on thoughts in regard to your boyfriend of a year and 4 months, not in regard to your mother or your father whom you’ve known your “whole life… always“.

Here is a question that you may choose to answer- or not: Did you ever struggle with thoughts like the following, in regard to your mother and/ or your father, thoughts that made you “feel so wrong and guilty“:

Do I love him (or her)? I should feel love for him (or her) all the time, this isn’t normal not feeling anything for my own mother (or father)?

I am asking because these are not uncommon thoughts that many children have from time to time, and these are scary thoughts. I remember having these thoughts when I was a child, and feeling very guilty and odd, like there was something wrong with me for these thoughts even crossing my mind… feeling that only a bad child/ a bad person would have such thoughts. Can you relate to any extent?

anita