Dear anita

It makes sense to accept those “suffocating feelings” as part of my inner self. But every time they come out, they drain my energy, paralize me and make me a very uncomfortable person to be around. Especially in the morning when I wake up and in the afternoon when I get tired, those “suffocating feelings” are very present. That is the reason why I do have a tendency to want connection only with my “stable self”. It feels good to be calm and confident in my own skin no matter what happen outside of myself. Therefore those “suffocating feelings” are a barrier to me. It’s even more difficult if I have to interact with people, who I don’t feel comfortable with and I’m scared of their judgments.

I wrote down those “suffocating feelings” many times in my journal, but journaling does amplify those uncomfortable feelings and often makes me feel worse. When I talk openly with some friends I feel less alone, but it is just a temporary relief. I also tried t0 express my feelings by drawing. It sometimes helped. That is something I don’t do it regularly.

I don’t know how else I can accept those “suffocating feelings”.

Sesha