Hi Anita,

You’re right, it’s such a basic flaw in my thinking that i simply wasnt recognising. Of course being compassionate to myself is a necessary part of compassion, so killing myself would be quite… ill-advised. Besides, this body is property of the universe really, not quite mine.

You;re also very right about the ways the world has gotten worse, thank you for empathising with that and how it impacts my state of mind. i’ve actually been very fortunate in terms of getting support, enough to now be on my second round of therapy. they have helped a lot, but i’m still not in recovery yet (getting there!). i have really come to see, respect and honour the important of putting myself first and tending to my mental health in this time, so i suppose i was right when i said i was ready to start doing that.

it’s a shame that these thinsg havent been enough to stop me feeling suicidal, but it is only quite occasionally these days (maybe once a week or two, unless something traumatic has just happened)