Dear Bee:

“I don’t understand how they could see me as a good person yet see so much wrong in me, the relationship… Yet I still feel like whether or not they see good in me is life-or-death” – you are a good person, Bee. I know because you care so much about the question of good and bad. You desperately want to be a good person.

Bad people passed the point of no return, that’s the point when a person doesn’t care anymore about being good or bad.

I suffered from decades of feeling guilty, believing that I was a bad person, ever since I was a child. I used to think (I think I was a teenager at the time), that if I could live one day free of guilt, my life would be worth living.

I know the pain of guilt, and getting free from it more and more, it really does feel like life worth living. I will be happy to help you through it, best I can, over time.

I’ve been here on the forums every day for almost 7 years, starting on May 5, 2015. I read the stories of and communicated with thousands of members over the years (you can see my many thousands of posts over the years, they are all on record here, except for the threads members chose to delete). I mention this because my experience here, and in life otherwise, is the basis for my thinking of you as a good person.

Your ex, they read like a good person too, and I can understand why it’s so important for you that they think of you as a good person. You wonder how they can think of you as a good person when having been so dissatisfied with your behaviors- my guess is that they see what I see: a good person, a person who desperately wants to be good.

She desperately wants to be good, yet, she already is, says I!

anita