Dear anita,

It is good to hear that i didnt hurt you. I was afraid that i did. Im glad that you are learning more about yourself and that it helps you healing.

This moment we had in our conversation showed me something too: i am desperate for a judgement about my past, in the sense that i am desperate to know if i did wrong and deserved what i experienced or if i am allowed to free myself and move on. I also learned that only i can decide that.

The situation i had with my last ex just woke up this life-long conflict in me and made my desperation real again after i thought that i had grown out of it.

Ed