Hi Anita,

Thanks again for your kindness and for listening.

Yes, my husband needed to know, of course. It just disturbs me because he is such a peaceful creature. I hate to have brought this into his life. But he’s being very supportive.

Strangely enough, he said he’d always gotten a dark vibe from my brother but obviously didn’t want to say anything before.

I’m feeling pretty conflicted in myself because it’s as if all and any love I had for my brother has been suddenly switched off. I’ve lost my belief in unconditional love and I’m ashamed of myself for it.

I expressed the idea of talking to forensic specialist to my counsellor and he said he’s certain it would be fruitless. Where this happened, wasn’t even on the same continent, let alone the same legal jurisdiction.

I feel conflicted also in that I sometimes wonder if his girlfriend, for example, has the right to know. They have 2 year old son who I’ve never met (despite trying) and that is just another example I suppose of strange my brother is.

I was awake very early this morning as I was having nightmares about him. I was with him in person but before he’d read my letter and kept pushing my boundaries