Dear Lola:

You are welcome, Lola.

“It just disturbs me because he is such a peaceful creature. I hate to have brought this into his life“- you couldn’t help it, you had to bring this information into your husband’s life. But you can promote his peaceful nature in other ways, every day.

“I’m feeling pretty conflicted in myself because it’s as if all and any love I had for my brother has been suddenly switched off. I’ve lost my belief in unconditional love and I’m ashamed of myself for it“- your brother is responsible for letting a man die and for letting your love for him die when he told you about what he did. The shame belongs with him, not with you.

In yet other words, your love having switched off is not a consequence of your inadequacy as a loving and loyal sister; it is a consequence of his severe wrongdoing and having told you about it, burdening you with this very disturbing information.

“I expressed the idea of talking to forensic specialist to my counsellor and he said he’s certain it would be fruitless. Where this happened, wasn’t even on the same continent, let alone the same legal jurisdiction“- I didn’t suggest seeing a forensic psychologist so to take legal action against your brother regarding the incident 10 years ago. I suggested it for the purpose of understanding better and finding out if there is anything at all that you can do toward preventing people from getting harmed by your brother.

In your original post you mentioned “Lots more awful details” to what he told you that night. A forensic psychologist may be able to put those details together into a better understanding of your brother and what a danger he poses to other people. And he may suggest what, if anything, you can do about it.

“I feel conflicted also in that I sometimes wonder if his girlfriend, for example, has the right to know. They have 2 year old son who I’ve never met“- this is a conflict that a forensic psychologist (one that specializes in the psychology behind criminal behavior) can help you with. I hope that his son and girlfriend are okay!

“I was awake very early this morning as I was having nightmares about him“- a consequence of what he told you.

Back to your original post: “10 years ago he’d let a man die. He said he was choking on his vomit and he could have just rolled him over but he really wanted to see a man die. He said he enjoyed it and it made him feel powerful“- to understand better, I will be doing a little study. It may help you understand better as well:

– Recently, in October 2021, a 37  year old former male nurse in Texas was convicted and sentenced to death for killing multiple patients back in 2017 and 2018 by injecting them with air “for fun”. One of his prosecutors in closing arguments said: “He enjoyed going into the rooms and injecting them with air. If you watch the video… he sat at the end of the hall and he watched those monitors and he waited. That’s because he liked it“.

Another nurse, a female nurse, worked as a nurse from around 1885 to 1902. She injected patients with a mixture of drugs and enjoyed watching them die, getting a sexual thrill out of it, “she got a powerful erotic charge“. She admitted that she aspired “to have killed more people — helpless people — than any other man or woman who ever lived”.

There were other nurses who enjoyed watching their patients die.  learning mind. com: ” some angels of death simply kill for power or as a mode of stimulation. Normal life has lost its meaning for them… While most of the patients killed..  were elderly, there have been a handful of cases where children were involved…  it’s safe to say, know your medical professionals before you put your life in their hands”.

Psychology today: “some people enter healthcare professions not to help others but to gain power, control, or attention. If they decide to harm or kill, victims and methods are readily available… A study published in the Journal of Forensic Sciences in November 2006 examined 90 cases from twenty countries of criminal prosecutions between 1970 and 2006… the number of suspicious deaths attributed to the confirmed killers in the study totaled over 2,000. Often they work alone… Several professionals who study these cases worldwide have listed traits and behaviors that should be taken seriously. While none is in itself sufficient to place someone under suspicion, a number of them occurring together is reason to pay attention. In retrospect, we know that nurses who turned out to be serial killers…. * were secretive * had a persistently difficult time with personal relationships…. * had been involved in other types of criminal activities. * had a substance abuse problem”.

You wrote that your brother in your original post that he  “generally isn’t open or close with anyone“, which is one of the traits and behaviors listed above.  I hope that he doesn’t work in a hospital because for people who enjoy watching people die, it’s the perfect place because the people to kill are readily available, their deaths is often not suspicious because they are sick, and the drugs and equipment to cause them to die are readily available.

I did this little study because for me, the more I understand, the saner I am. How do you feel about it?

anita