Hi Rammi

I’m sorry to hear about your heart break. I believe that you keep going back because you care about him and seek his love.

Unfortunately, I don’t think he has any to give. You mentioned that he said he felt pressured to say things that would make you happy. To me, this means everything he said while he was drunk is a lie. A convenient excuse. It was something he said to avoid blame. To permanently end any expectations of the relationship progressing any further, while at the same time saving face and pretending like he is a good person because he claimed to love you.

When I was younger I had similar issues. But I set a rule. No going back. If we break up it’s over. I’m very clear with people about this. It avoids game playing.

In time, you will heal from this. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t treat you poorly, who doesn’t hide you. Who doesn’t disrespect you by leading you on. Please let yourself be open to that wonderful future and stick to your guns. Never pursue a relationship with that man again.