Dear anita,

when she told you that she will be unhappy living with her aunt, maybe you felt that you and her will be having something in common, a commonality: the two of you being unhappy where you live: she with her aunt, you with your parents.

Maybe you were hoping that because the two of you would be unhappy, she will be looking for happiness with you, as you will be looking for happiness with her?

Yes that’s what i thought… like both of us could find our happiness by being together. I also thought that she’ll rely on me as her escape from her aunt to achieve happiness….

according to her Instagram stories, she is happy even though she is living with her aunt, so you feel cheated out of the commonality you thought you had with her (both of you being unhappy about where you live and looking for happiness with each other)?

Yes, from what i saw from her instagram stories… i sense no unhappiness there…. Like she’s enjoying her uni life now…. I know that people only post the happy moments on social media…. But from what i saw here is that she’s trying to show people how fun her uni life is…

you feel regret for missing out on the opportunity to meet new people and have new life experiences during your uni years. You blame yourself and you are angry at yourself  for missing out and investing your time wrongly during uni. You alsoblame her and are angry at her for rejecting you and proceeding to enjoy her uni years without you. Did I understand correctly so far, here in this post?

Yes you are absolutely correct…. Although it’s not solely due to her that i missed out on the opportunity to meet new people in uni… it’s also due to my lack of social skills, insecurities of my body and my social anxiety….

I think that in your young life so far you suffered from a deep and lasting emotional deprivation: a Painful and Tormenting Lack of what you needed so much: a sense of worth, of being liked, of being okay- alone and with other people, particularly with people your age. I think that this sense of Lack produced an Emptiness that hurts and keeps hurting, making you angry because it is unfair to have this Emptiness be…  Your Life while others seem to have better lives.

Yes i agree with the last sentence, i felt that other people seem to have better lives…

I was born in a lonely family… lack of cousins and family members (not in good terms (i think i’ve explained about my family issue in the previous threads))… This resulting into my lack of social skills and with also in my young life i experience lots of insecurities (due to my childhood, physical appearance, achievements, etc) which adds up more problems for me.