Dear SantaFe:

You don’t sound stupid at all. You sound smart to me: you feel like doing something, you pause, you ask yourself: is this right to do?, and you ask this before you say or do anything to A or to B:  that’s smart.

You are not wrong to feel what you do, to emotionally react to the situation the way you do- we don’t choose our emotional reactions. Choice apply only to how we react with our words and actions.

“I feel like throwing a tantrum and cutting off this relationship as well. Like, “oh you value them more? Go have that relationship then. Bye”-  Reads to me like an old wound has reopened in this situation: someone long ago valued others more than he/ she valued you?

(I will be back to the computer in a few hours).

anita