Hi Hailey

I understand where you are coming from.

Sometimes I say things that sound negative atto others, but they are just facts. I too am well meaning in my intensions. Other times, it is an automatic response that I haven’t thought about.

I try to balance this out by regularly complimenting people. That way people can give me the benefit of doubt when I unintentionaly upset someone. If you are friendly with people and maintain a good relationship with them they tend to be very forgiving. This involves asking people about their lives, remembering important information such as names of spouses, children, interests.

I think everyone has this issue on some level because language is so complex. Communication is difficult!

When people feel insecure they naturally assume the worst. If you don’t have a good relationship with someone or have no relationship with them and they have mental health issues of their own they can very easily take things the wrong way.

Personally, if people say things that are upsetting I like to rationalize it by understanding that the individual could be struggling in some way. I realised that people often say (or do) upsetting things when they are stressed. It is an unhealthy coping mechanism. This helps me understand that I am not really the cause of their pain.

For example, if I say something with good intentions and someone takes it the wrong way. I rationalise this as a misunderstanding. If they act out because of a misunderstanding they are struggling with their own issues and potentially are very stressed. What was said was a very small misunderstanding and the behavior is disproportionate therefore this has nothing to do with me.