Hi Anonymous!

Thank you!

That makes sense. I can imagine that in your teen years as you began exploring your boundaries that your parents would be uncomfortable with it at first. Many parents are the first time their wonderful daughter goes against their wishes. If you are a first child, they may not have known how to cope well initially.

From previous messages it sounds like you have a good relationship with your mother. Is this correct?

I can imagine that as a teen from a loving family experiencing rejection for the first time from parents in the form of a strained relationship would be quite a painful shock to you. No wonder that you felt that you couldn’t be happy and were in great pain feeling that you had disappointed them.

I don’t think the mistake was yours here. I think that your parents made a very human understandable mistake by straining their relationship with you. But as children we blame ourselves especially if our parents imply that the fault is with us.

The difficulty is that when we are younger our emotions are not very logical. Yet these illogical messages are absorbed and reoccur throughout our lives.

I find that it can be helpful sometimes when rumination triggers occur to remember where the trigger originated. It can be helpful to comfort yourself about it as an adult.

I’m not sure how helpful this will be! But it is the last tip that I can think of sharing.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and correct any misunderstandings.