Dear Janus:

Hugs back to you. I think that I told you before and I’ll say it again (in regard to the first of your two recent posts, which I read slowly and attentively): you have an amazing skill and talent explaining a topic clearly and thoroughly!

It so happens that in my social circle there is a father whose preteen child identifies as trans-male and insists that their father uses the pronoun they. The father respects his trans-male preteen’s preferences, but is somewhat troubled about it all. I talked to him before and mentioned you and what you taught me. When I talk to him next, I will be able to explain more and maybe help him understand better.

Binders and tapes read like very uncomfortable, especially when the weather is hot and humid. I didn’t know of puberty blockers until you mentioned it. I just read more about it in Wikipedia: “Puberty blockers, also called puberty inhibitors or hormone blockers, are medicines used to postpone puberty in children… Delaying or temporarily suspending puberty is a medical treatment for children whose puberty started abnormally early (precocious puberty)… for children with idiopathic short stature… (and)  sometimes prescribed to young transgender people,  to… allow patients more time to solidify their gender identity, without developing secondary sex characteristics. If a child later decides not to transition to another gender the medication can be stopped, allowing puberty to proceed“-

– The last sentence in the above quote, the one I italicized, I think that it mean that puberty blockers may be prescribed for preteens who identify as transgenders but who do not suffer from gender dysphoria, so to prevent possible gender dysphoria?

“I feel that you are a gender-nonconformist. Since you don’t hate being female but you enjoy being with the guys more than the females. I feel that everyone has a degree of gender polarity since gender is a spectrum“- a spectrum indeed and I am not on any one extreme part of the spectrum.  I think and feel that you are correct: I am a gender-nonconformist.  If I ever talk with the preteen I mentioned, or if I ever talk with (I would like to) the adult trans-woman who frequents a place I frequent, I will identify myself as… a gender-nonconformist, sounds totally cool!

“My gender therapist gave me a book titled ‘healing the shame that binds you’ and it talks about how shame can be passed down and entrenched in generations … “- I read the book too  and it was a most meaningful book to me at the time.

“In my trauma, making not the best of decisions, repressing emotions, dissociating from the world“-  this makes me think of a quote from the John Bradshaw’s book that you mentioned: “Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.“

“I’ve let go of some of the shame from being hurt and things and forgave myself“-  excellent! You came a long way since you first posted in this thread, back in Dec 30, 2015, 9:20 pm (your time)!!!

anita