@Helcat

I think you’ve pointed out some interesting things. I don’t know why the cried when they knew I was seeing her. Their father is likely to have some influence over it. I can see him talking poorly about the situation. My wife left him because he was abusive. And I agree that it’s abusive for her to let her son sleep next to her. I think she feels guilty about some things and lets her kids dictate aspects where there should be boundaries.

I don’t know why I didn’t sleep in his bed when I was on the couch. It’s a good question. About my neediness. I think I wanted more attention than I was getting. Much of my happiness came from her which isn’t healthy. I would try to please her while neglecting my own needs. So I suppose I was just trying to be a good husband in the only way I knew how.

I love my wife my than anything and I have a really hard time being mad at her.  I would like to think that in a few years when the kids get older than we could reconcile as she even hinted at that when we stared seeing one another shortly after our separation

@Tee

When I say needs I can’t really pinpoint what exactly. I only really felt her pulling away near Christmas. Was there a lack of communication?  For sure there was. As for the sleeping arrangements. I do believe that she wasn’t getting good sleep being next to me. I do snore quite loudly. Whether the fact the her son played a role in it is hard to say.

As for her son. I don’t think when the sleeping arrangements changed is when he started distancing himself. I also can’t pinpoint exactly when this started happening but it was probably around Oct 2021. We had a good relationship and something happened and I don’t know what.  My wife said he was going through some stuff but didn’t tell me what that stuff was. I tried not to pry.

@Anita

I certainly always tried to please my wife. Was I a “yes man”?  I don’t know. I am who I am. Can I work on some aspects of my life?  For sure. I know my strengths and weaknesses. In my first relationship I did voice myself more but I can say that I didn’t really love her. It was my first relationship we were both lonely and we just stayed together too long. The feelings I have for my wife is unconditional love. I want her to be happy and I tried to do that. I did a lot of good things. I was good with the kids and I was good ti her. And I will always be good to her and I will never hurt her. Have I been hurt?  Yes.  But I’m trying to take things in stride as much as it hurts.