Dear Lynn (or do you prefer Aella?):

English is my second (somewhat 3rd) language too, welcome to the forums! You shared that you and your partner met through an online app, been friends for about 3 months before making the relationship official as partners, a relationship that has lasted for almost 4 years so far.

Last week, she told you that she wants some space “to find herself, because she feels empty, she wanted to meet new people apart from (you)”. One of the people she met wants a lot of your partner’s attention, “calling (your partner) some sweet name“, and the two of them have been “going out… until late at night“, even though you know your partner as “not a late-night person“.

“My partner won’t say anything (to her new friends or friends) about she has a partner… she just telling me she wants to find what she wants in this life“-  reads to me that she wants to find who she wants in this life (and what she wants) because she is doubting that it is you that she wants in her life as a partner.

“She wants to know if she wants to continue this relationship with me, she is confuse either love or pity with me and asked me to get ready for any possibility. When I told her for letting me go if she feels burden and not happy, she doesn’t want it“- I think that because she clearly doubts that she wants you to continue to be her partner, and because she is currently in search for a more suitable partner, the way you can get ready for any possibility is to let go of her (instead of leaving it up to her to let go of you).

“She told me she feels home when she with me, she even compared me with that new girl when they on the phone, she said when they talked, she always thinks about me“- there is a well-known saying: “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”- well,  she can (so far): she is keep you hopeful that she will choose you while she is searching for someone else.

“My question is what exactly the purpose of this space?“- I think that the purpose of this space on her part is to shop around for a more suitable partner.

“Is this method really help to fix the relationship?“- if she doesn’t find a more suitable partner, maybe then she will be motivated to fix the relationship with you.

What do you think about what I wrote here?

anita