Dear Caroline:

You are welcome.  “I know it is possible that he will ridicule me saying for example ‘Can I talk for 15 seconds more or are you bored already?‘”- this would be a passive-aggressive comment where he accuses you of being easily bored and unkind to him, while it is he who is unkind to you by burdening you with his long monologues-which is abusive, by demanding that you continue to take his abuse, and by accusing and ridiculing you for not taking his abuse silently and submissively.

If this is the kind of comments he has made to you in the past, then he’s been passive-aggressive with you, which is about being aggressive while appearing passive.

“I know it did not happen yet, but I have a strange feeling, knowing his being passive aggressive in the past, that probably it will be his response in a long run“- amazing: I wrote the above before I read this sentence (I read posts part by part, responding to one part before reading the next). So indeed, he has been passive-aggressive.

“I am trying to prepare for it. He can surprise me with something worse, though..”- what something worse can it be?

“It has been overwhelmed at work lately. Since I thought my coworkers may think I am dishonest. I get anxiety every day and feel like a fraud“- the guy we’ve been discussing is dishonest and a fraud, including when he misrepresented his “friendship” (with you) to the other colleagues.

“Today I had the opportunity to briefly explain we are not friends anymore“- well done!!!

“One of the coworker said something about us 3 (Me, the guy who works here and a girl ) changing department“-  if it means no longer working with the guy we’ve been discussing, changing department is a very good idea the sooner, the better!

“last year one girl decided to leave and he acted very rude…  He also repeatedly ‘threatened me’ that I cannot leave either. I say this in .. because he says it like a joke but … it is not“- he is passive-aggressive: aggressive with the appearance of passivity and humor. (The more I read about him, the more I dislike him).

“I still feel dishonest and do not like myself lately“- can you elaborate on this: what did you say or do that is dishonest? What is it that you don’t like about yourself lately?

anita