Dear Thondit/ Gregory:

Not long ago (perhaps a couple of months ago), I sent you an inquiry post on one of your older threads, hoping to read from you again, and this morning, it happened: I am reading from you again and it is a delight!

“Hey Anita,  I hope you are breathing well and exist”- I am breathing well and  I still exist, thank you.

You and K, the pretty woman in the photo and the mother of your second son, took a break from your relationship while she finalized her bachelor degree in Actuarial Science (a discipline that assesses financial risks in the insurance and financial fields, using mathematical and statistical methods) in Nairobi, Kenya. The two of you are now talking about marriage and K has been asking you questions/ interviewing you (so to assess risks… true to her chosen career as an Actuarial Scientist…). You like the questions she asks you, and it makes you think of her as indeed “a wife Material”.

Her first question was “How do you handle conflict?” Your answer: “identify the content of conflict with your partner“- excellent, Gregory. Lots of people start arguing without even identifying what they are arguing about!  I like the rest of your answer and I am not surprised you give good answers, Gregory!

I read her other questions: “Do our values align?“, “Does our parenting rhyme (align) or will it be full of conflicts?“- excellent question. I wish all people who consider marriage and children would ask these questions! Here is another question I particularly like: “Are you all talk but no action when it comes to the real deal in future?”

I hope that K is asking and answering these questions and that you ask her questions that come to your mind. “And in case you guys are interested to see my response feel free to request them “- you are welcome to share your responses, I will be interested in reading them.

“However, our both parents gathered together about the negotiation price of the girl and they will be continuing with it for a week then they proceed to village for dowry payment“- it is interesting how the Modern and the Traditional come together: her studies in Nairobi are very modern, her questions are modern and traditions are still very much a part of life in Sudan (where you still live, correct?), ex.,  negotiating over the price of a bride and paying dowry!

“Looking forward hearing from you guys“- I am excited for you, Gregory, about you and K getting married and parenting your son together, maybe your first son will live with you as well, if that’s what is best for him… I hope to read from you again and again, looking forward to read about your upcoming marriage!

anita