So i wrote him and he replied hey kat don’t worry about it. He talked about how he also deals with anxiety and that i definitly should try a turkish restaurant and that i will love it. He was very understanding so that’s good.

There is a chance that he lost interest and he did say that he gets sick of people and places fast, but based on his behaviour which is exactly the same as me. He got too close i shut down i got closer to him the more awkward and nervous he be came. We act very similar so i think there is some truth to the whole if you are emotional unavailable you atract emotional unavailable people.

When he first started working here he wasn’t nervous around at all and neither was i. I started getting awkward when he asked me to go to the bar for the first time, same time i started getting extremely anxious because now i had feelings for him and didn’t want to risk being rejected.

And the first time we worked together after the date, he covered my break, a man asked me to join him which i did. He had his back turned to me the entire time, he has never done that before always faces front.

And my make colleague (who knows him) says that he got very loud as to indicate I’m here now, when he saw us talking.

I need to focus on the fact that I’m not crazy for thinking that he liked me, there’s just too many signs that he was interested and that he wasn’t like this with other women. Something i always makes sure to look out for, because you always treat the person you like different. My male colleague told me he saw a lot of similaries between the cute guys behaviour towards me and the way he was acting with his now girlfriend (she also works here)

I know that i myself kept bolting whrn guys got close even though i really liked them. That’s why I basically had to force myself to be with the guy earlier this year. I didn’t know how to deal with letting someone close, but Im glad i did because after a while it be came the best thing i have ever had. But it also took me a lot of self awareness that i can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.

I definitly need to trust my gut feeling that he was interested and that I’m not crazy and read him wrong. Everybody is under the same impretion people that know him and you and Tee that doesn’t.

My other guy colleague said, that guy is all over the place (referring to his mental health) so i think i should try and not take this too personally. My worth us not determen by if a man is with me or not.