Dear peace:

Let’s look at what she (22) said to you (23) voluntarily, meaning not as answers to questions that you presented to her): “she said that she cannot give me what I need right now. She said she does not feel the same way as before… not feeling the same emotional connection, she feels empty and wants to focus on her new life in the new city… she would like for me to have less expectations about our relationship since she is not able to give me what I need“.

Her behavior during “the week of reflection”, a sort-of break from the relationship: “still texting…  sometimes she double text, even if I have not yet replied“.

“Should I let her go, even if this breaks my heart? Or should I hold on, letting her decide and adjust to her new life away?“- (1) It is clear to me that she is emotionally attached to you, and not surprisingly, since the two of  you spent so much time together, (2) It is possible that she thinks that love/ attraction is always supposed to feel about the same and if it doesn’t- it means that it’s gone, (3) Seems like living in a new city motivated her to depart from the old and try something new, whatever new for her entails.

I think that if you find out in two days that she didn’t change her mind-and-heart, that she is undecided, your best shot at having her back to you (or to heal from a broken heart) is to give her the message: Let your Yes be Yes, and your No be No: either she is in a relationship with you, or she isn’t. If she is undecided, then proceed as if she said No, and this means no contact for as long as it is a No for two reasons: (1) Any contact with her will fuel your hopes and wear you down (2) Continued comforting contact with you may help her survive a lonely time until she finds comfort with someone new, so by keeping contact with her (in her state of mind), you’ll be helping her find someone new.

anita