The last one was for Anita.

dear Tee,

Thank you for your opinion. You are correct. It may just boil brown to being black and white in deciding just to leave. I am searching for that answer. If I find it I’ll update you all to let you know how this turns out. I don’t want a life based on a lie. He asked today why we don’t go ahead and get married. I told him that I want to make sure he’s doing it for the right reasons and not just to make it look good to get his daughter back. Also, I want to figure out this thing with his friend and whether or not we need to continue trying to make this work because I won’t be constantly disrespected in my relationship and not be able to stand up for myself. He told me he thinks everything about it is dumb and childish including the way his friend is acting. I told him he’s the only one who can do anything about it. I got silence from him and a subject change. We will see. I just don’t have any answers right now. I know if my mom and dad were here I’d have people in my corner, but sadly I was/am the ideal target. No family, a stable environment, a good job, a vehicle, and a trusting demeanor that attracts the opposite. He did just spend his first in a long time check on bills. I’m thankful I can trust him with money. If this does go bad I’ve often contemplated on how I’d handle him coming out to me or telling me he is bisexual. I’ve came to the conclusion that I’d support his decision because if he lived any other way he wouldn’t be happy either. We’d handle custody and financial arrangements for the baby in a very civil way with or without court. If he got the baby part time I wouldn’t request child support, my first sons father and I are friends. He’s just an alcoholic. Without the alcohol he’s a good person as well. Just because someone has a different outlook on life or different desires doesn’t make them a bad person, and those kids will love them no matter how much I was hurt or no matter what they choose to be or what they choose to do. What needs to be seen will be when the time is right. Love and understanding is the ultimate goal here because there are kids involved. I want them to know how to treat people different from them. So it looks like it’s a lose lose situation, but given the right perspective it can always be a win win. I know I can afford the bills on my own if I give a few things Up. I know that we’d both be good parents. The question is, would we be good together if this situation continues like it has? The answer is ‘no’.  So we would do the parenting separately with rules and boundaries. If they can’t be respected then I’d get court involved.

Also, it’s very sad because my son loves hanging out with my boyfriends friend. I do not feel any foul play when it comes to my son. I’ve asked him questions just in case. He hasn’t stayed more than an hour there, and he watches tv and plays with his cars. Since all this my boyfriends friend decided he’s not comfortable watching my son anymore. We paid him, and he watched him because I was trying to look at him as a grandpa figure. My son lost all his grand parents. It’s just a hard situation.