Hi Tee,

Yes exactly. He couldn’t come to the first housewarming (he had the late shift) but came to the second one, she did two so the ones that worked the first one could come as well.

Wow I really didn’t see it that way. I really felt like they didn’t care and was starting to exclude me from outtings because they didn’t like me enough. But I did in fact turn them down more times that I realised.

X said to me on about the 2nd housewarming that the cute guy and another guy from reception (another former roommate of mine) were gonna go together when they finished their shift 30 min after me, and that I should go with them (she mentioned it twice). I wanted to but I was really anxious because way more people was gonna attend this one (all collegues of mine and people I get on with) but arriving to a party where people are allready partying makes me soo nervous. And second because of the cute guy. I was really thinking about joining them but then my former roommate said that he needed to get ready first (he takes a loong time to get ready, longer than me) so it would have just been me and the guy I liked alone. I regretted that decision after, he kept saying but who’s gonna pour me a beer but he knew who could do it (a man and two other girls) It would have been a good way of challenging myself, and to do something even though I was really nervous.

It’s good to hear you say that you don’t think that they think any less of me. I have been known for doing the Irish goodbye so I can see it makes sense to stop inviting someone to something they don’t like and always say no.

I react quite strongly to rejection or even perceived rejection.I really feel like people only ask me because they are trying to be polite, and not because they genuinely want to spend time with me. It has happened a lot, like there’s a part of me that want to hear them fight for me but I never believe them when they do.

Yes It’s really frustreting. I thought that that would be over after. I once had a crush on a guy and he could tell i lseemed to like him but he never gave me anything back or flirted with me, he just treated me like any other woman. So I quickly knew nothing was going to happend it only made it easier, because then the pressure was off I didn’t have to empress him, after that he started teasing me and I knew that now I was accepted as a friend. But he is still acting awkward around me the same way he did before, and at times it even made me a bit mad. Like you don’t have the right to be awkward around me if you only see me as a friend  (or just a collegue), if that’s the case then you should treat me the same way you treat the other female collegues. But he is still acting as before.

About his message on his anxiety your right. I didn’t reply It took me some days before I even read it, and I thought that if I replied then I would make a fool of myself.