Dear anita,

Thank you for your detailed opinion….

So this sunday i’m planning to have our 8th date, but i still hesitate whether i should confess or not…. Because if i wanna confess, i’d like to plan a little surprise for her…. But i’m still not sure, like i keep thinking we’ve been close for 2.5 months… is it enough? Am i being to quick on confessing? Will it be a wrong move?

It’s always that way, when i meet her in person and we talk deeply…. I always feel like i wanna confess…. But because we mostly meet on weekend, so weekdays we dont meet…. My mind keep telling me to just postpone it, like because if i confess… everything will become more serious….. But no matter i confess or not, she’s planning to introduce me to her parents… but it’s next year…..

And also i’m worried that if i’m in a relationship… there’s a chance i could gain an “ex-girlfriend”…..

One of the reasons why she felt safe going out with me for the first time is because i told her that time that i’ve never been in a relationship…. So there’s no ex-girlfriend…

But i always felt that i’m so grateful to have met her, and i wanna be in a relationship with her…

I dont know if i keep postponing in confessing to her will change anything……

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when I read her response (the italicized) and before I read your interpretation of her response, I thought to myself that she was worried that you will get back together with your old crush and not want her (the new crush) anymore!

your interpretation is different from mine. I think that her intent was not to say that she may go back to an old crush of hers, but to express her anxiety about you going back to an old crush of yours!

= If she feels anxiety about me going back to my ex-crush, then why would she use those kind of words? It’s like she’s supporting the idea of going back to ex-crushes… that’s what makes me overthink that she’d like to go back to her old crush…

thank you for not arguing with me. About your height… I don’t want to scratch that itch.. (and don’t make me regret it!!!) , so here it goes:  5’5” is not that short. The way you talk about your height it sounds like you are 5’2”.

= thank you for trying to reassure me….. Maybe it’s because her sister is the same height as me (or maybe slightly taller), and her younger brother is definitely taller than me….. i just hope they wont give me an “underestimate” first impression due to my height….. Luckily this girl is shorter than me….. but she used to told me how her younger brother make fun of her height…..

But i also hate myself because i used to hate my height so much, that i dont care about my body… and resulting in me having a bone problem which is scapular winging on the right side of my back and a hunchback….. and now i’m trying to get rid of it….

it’s a good idea then, to meet first in a restaurant: excellent idea, Erc!

= But before i meet her parents, i plan to have her meet my parents first…..

this reads so good to me: the two of you being very compatible (but please do not expect perfect compatibility because there is no such thing)!

= yeah we’ve talked about this, like we discussed that if we have a quarrel… we should communicate it, and not giving hasty decisions (like breaking up immediately, etc)… she told me that to maintain a relationship, both must communicate and work together… and i agree with that….

But she also told me that she’s worried that her personality might change if she’s in a relationship later on…. Because she’s never been in a relationship…. She’s worried that she might get angry easily, being more possessive and etc…..

And also i have a temperament personality when i get pressured, i also easily get annoyed…. If i get annoyed.. i dont feel like talking to that person….

You mentioned earlier that you read in surveys on the internet that a man should not get married to the first girl he dates and that it is better for a man to get married at 30. I believe that it is a bad idea to make important life decisions based on strict guidelines that you read  about in surveys, and instead: consider the surveys but make decisions that fit your individual personality and mind. If I was you, from what you shared so far, I would hope to marry this girl sometime in 2013, and be a good husband to her (don’t annoy her with obsessions and worries and such!)

= i think i have a personality that i fear mistakes… that’s why i read surveys to get the best possible outcome… and that’s also why i’m so hard on myself if i made mistakes…..

But i dont plan to get married that soon, i feel like it’s still too early for me…. I just wanna be in a relationship works…..