Dear Kaya:

You are welcome. You shared that it took you 5 years to realize that what you received from this man (when he was not in a good mood) was “emotional and verbal abuse“. Congratulations for realizing this!!!

“He grew up abusive mother (toxic mother) and I think they are very similar.  When they are happy, they are in so good mood but if not, everything is upside down“- abuse normally happens when the abuser is unhappy, it is in the nature of abuse that the abuser abuses when he/ she is unhappy. Don’t let the times when he was happy- and not abusive- confuse you.

“I do not want to be near him anymore since yesterday“- I wouldn’t either!

“I forgot to block him but block his email.  I won’t answer any ID calls and unknown numbers“- if and when you get a call from an unknown number and you find out that it is his number because he’d leave a message, let’s say, block him then.

“He complained about my vinyl return because he paid for firewood, stove, etc… He makes great money, more than double my salary but the end of a relationship is all about money“-   at the end of the relationship with you, it is all about (I think) his relationship with his toxic mother. Maybe his anger is about all that he gave his mother and how she didn’t appreciate all that he gave her and all that he did for her.

“Only if he sends me an invoice then I will send my check“- I don’t think that if you send him a check, it will resolve his anger because, like I wrote above, I think it’s about what he gave his mother and about his anger at her.

anita