Dear anita,

So i just finished my 8th date with her yesterday, as planned i confess to her in the car, by first giving her a book which has our pics in there and also the words that i wanna say… and after that i told her to close her eyes and i took the flowers behind the seat….. then i confess to her that i’ve never been this grateful meeting her and im happy…. Then she said she’s more grateful and happy, and she told me she cant believe that she met me this year and told me her highlight of this year is meeting me… then my eyes started to get teary and immediately look away and wipe my tears…. I cant believe someone said that to me…. It’s really unbelievable…..

Then i told her it’s fine if she doesnt want it official yet, and i dont mind if we dont tell anyone first about our relationship, i just want to give her reassurance that im serious with her. She told me that she didnt expect me to confess that early (3 months), she thought it’s gonna be at the 5th or 6th month….

She told me she want to keep going with me but not official yet as she isnt ready… and she thank me for giving her reassurance… and then she hugged me and said it once more that she’s really grateful to have met me….
She told me she doesnt know if she can sleep that day, as she’s very happy…..

Then we had dinner together…. On our journey to the restaurant… we started holding hands for the first time… and as usual in the restaurant we took a pic together with her holding my hands…..

We then also discussed about our families, like discussing how will she meet my parents and how i will meet her parents…. We also discussed that if one day both of us gets bored, we shouldnt think of “ending” our relationship…, we should remember how both of us are grateful to each other…. And if there’s conflict we shouldnt immediately “end” it too…..
But i still dont know, sometimes what we said didnt happen as planned…. I just hope both of us can keep going in a healthy and blissful relationship…

We also discussed how several people gets conflict in marriage… we are both trying to prevent future conflicts in our relationship…

Then after i went home…. I started to feel pressure that i have to meet her parents and etc…. When i was with her (only both of us) i really enjoy it… like we were enjoying both of our moments together…. But i know sooner or later we have to meet both of our families…. And that’s where i feel pressure….. What if there’s something wrong when i meet her parents, what if her parents told her that im not a good candidate? I’m not ready to get hurt again….. Also what if she doesnt like her family…. She told me that i should invite my sister if we go to the cinema next time, then I told her that my sister is an introvert that rarely talks… she might felt uncomfortable if i bring my sister… then she told me its fine, she can try talking to her….. i get pressured here too, i dont want to make her uncomfortable around my sister, and causes a crack in our relationship…..

I also hope that it’s not too early for me and her to be in a “relationship”…. As im still 23 and she’s 21…..

Like i feel everytime we discuss about meeting our families, i feel like our “lovey dovey” moments will start to get serious…. The flirting moments is going to be a responsibility… and that’s why i feel so much pressure… i dont want my weakness and etc to make her uncomfortable….

Does relationship really causes this much pressure? Then im confused how people can enjoy relationships if there’s this much pressure?

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I wonder what she meant by bad attitude. Did you ask her? If you didn’t, it’s probably a good idea to ask.

= she told me that i havent seen her angry yet… like she could get angry in certain situations…. I have only seen the good side of her….. like she’s afraid if she could one day get angry at me… and also how i’ll be mad at her one day…

Did you feel any empathy for her since the last phone conversation (for feeling insecure), or did you only feel disappointed and angry at her ( for not rewarding your dating efforts by saying what you want her to say,

= tbh i only feel disappointed that she didnt said what i want her to say…. Because i’ve been trying my best to make her comfortable… and also prevent us from future heartbreaks…. I’m not ready for another heartbreak…..

including her saying that she misses you and feels grateful to have met you?

= i felt emotional when she said that, like i feel really grateful that she feels the same about me…. I’m really really really grateful when she said that….