Reposting:

Dear Addy:

Addy, Nov 23: “The photo I chose is me wearing green t-shirt white stripped with big (not too big) smile. My mum still tells me I have brightest smile. That time I had dimples too. Not now (sucks). And innocent looks with drape haircut haha”-

Nov 21, I suggested to you: “maybe Addy the boy wants to complain about his father being hard on him and attacking him with criticism“, and Addy the boy, who still wears a smile, still has the brightest smile on his face, answered: “To be honest. No. I don’t want complaint about him or as a matter of fact complain about anything. I just don’t see any value in doing that“-

-Addy the boy, with the brightest smile on his face, definitely and with no uncertain terms- will not complain! He will not turn that smile into a frown!

The first smiley face emoji in your posts was on your 2nd post, Sept 23, 2022, another on your 3rd post Sept 29, another on your 4th post, following “Have a Funtastic day” (this one is a bigger smile, more like a laugh), another on the 5th post- these in your first thread. In this 2nd thread, your first smiley face emoji appears on Oct 3, following these words: “It’s easy for me to be happy. E.g. I look up at the sky and oh there’s the big blue sky and green trees… Yay I’m happy”.

Smiley Happy Addy.

Oct 8, you asked me: “How are you doing? Good plans for the weekend? Things that you love during your weekends?“- very straightforward, very friendly, very outgoing, very smiley.

Oct 16, Addy (age 26): “I haven’t approached a girl first…(not)  Even Once.“. anita: “it will take courage on your part to carry on an rl relationship for the first time in a very long time (4 years, approximately?), and to approach a woman first, for the first time in your life“. Addy: “Yeah more than 4 years actually, Also today on IG I found that my attachment Style is Fearful-avoidant attachment style.. Low self-esteem, shunning emotional closeness or intimacy”-

-outside our online communication, outside the typing of words and smiley faces, and underneath the Friendly-Outgoing-Happy-Addy- there is a fearful Addy, an Avoidant Addy, an Addy who shuns emotional closeness.

Oct 29, Addy: “I don’t like the criticism of my father, so I simply don’t focus on it and my focus on my things because I know he isn’t right.. I’m trying to be very rational and not just dwell in what everyone’s opinions about me. Because only I know What I’m capable of and What I’ve been through I decide my limits, not other people“- underneath the confident, rational, sensible Addy there is… a not so rational Addy, a fearful Addy.

Nov 16, Addy: “Today I was thinking about my relationship patterns… Start with me giving good attention, I feel so much attracted… after that when they finally start to get even closer with me, I just feel like I don’t know how to explain but like trapped?… so after that I just try to avoid the deep feelings“- when the long-distance girlfriends whom you never met in person get closer to you, you get scared, fearful that they will see the Addy underneath the smile.

I would like to welcome the Addy underneath the smile into this thread. The rational, brightest-smile, very friendly, confident, outgoing Addy needs the fearful Addy boy because without this precious, fearful boy… you are trapped in a vacuum that needs to be filled.. filled with all that you are.

anita