Dear Farnaz:

“I feel like if I CHOOSE to be with someone, they were low hanging fruits, the kind I didn`t value their opinions“- this makes me think of my experience picking apples earlier this fall. It happened a couple of times that high hanging apples fell and hit my head. It hurt. Low hanging apples didn’t hurt me.

I think that you think of your mother as a high hanging fruit (educated, hard-working & motivated, professionally & financially successful) and of your father and siblings as low- or lower- hanging fruit. I think that you aspired and succeeded to be like your mother (see parenthesis) and you see yourself therefore as a high hanging fruit, higher/ more worthy than lower hanging fruit.

Do I understand correctly, and if so, in how/ in what ways did you CHOOSE (above quote) to be with low hanging fruit: did you notice that a particular man, let’s say, is uneducated and professionally unsuccessful, and that awakened a motivation in you to reach out to him and you proceeded to try to get his attention… and if you did, how did you try to get his attention?

* In my case, unattractive men- physically and otherwise- who tried to get my attention succeeded- unfortunately- if they decisively and aggressively… took advantage of me (is how I see it).

anita