Dear Addy,

yeah unfortunately covid is still around, and even if it’s omicron and I’ve been vaccinated 3 times, it’s not too easy on me. Thank you for the advice – I’ll try the ginger tea with honey and lemon…

It’s good you’re realizing that some inner child work is necessary too, and that you can’t only focus on the future without addressing the past.

Today I was thinking about a question you posed earlier – why it is that you’re afraid of emotional intimacy and feel trapped in relationships:

I shun emotional closeness and I’m not sure why…

Now I started to think I do have the issue of expressing my emotions or share it openly

When they [a girl that you like] finally start to get even closer with me, I just feel like I don’t know how to explain but like trapped?

Well, I think it’s because you were taught not to show your feelings (your “bad” feelings, such as anger and hurt and sadness). You were taught to always show a happy face and never complain. And you probably believe that this is how it should be in romantic relationships too.

If you believe that you cannot be honest with the other person, that you need to pretend to be perfect (perfectly happy and capable and optimistic and driven) – then no wonder you’ll feel trapped.

So it seems to me that you believe – due to your childhood conditioning – that you need to fake it in relationships, and you don’t want that. You’d rather be alone.

Anyway, that’s my best guess…

What do you think?