Anita

I do wish I didn’t have to worry.  The incident at our wedding dinner party triggered some things, so yes,   I do have a hard time trusting him 100 %.  I have been trying to keep the bad things that has happened to me in the past in the past!   Things like being ghosted, lied to, cheated on, mentally and verbally abused by a narcissist at one point in my life. So i do have some trust issues.   And  I have been trying to heal from those things.  We love each other very much and we are very open and honest about everything.  But he has no idea about some of those things that has happened to me.   I am not sure if he would understand if I did tell him.  I am learning to deal with my trust issues.   I just wish I didn’t have those issues.

Thing is, he has no blood family relatives here at all.    They are all over seas.   He has friends here.  Many  he considers “brothers”.  Their wives are “sisters”.   Very few of his friends speak english.  I do understand my husband well.   Problem is that I don’t understand his friends.   So, when we all get together for dinner or tea or coffee, I sit there not knowing what is said.  He is my translator.  They are very nice people and very generous and hospitable.   And yes I do feel left in the dark not knowing what is being said.  They could be talking about me or not.   So, I do feel a bit uncomfortable.  All I do is sit there and smile at them.   I do want to learn their language.  I do know simple words.  But, not fully yet.