Dear TaurusBelle95:

“The situation with the guy and his girlfriend is just a weird and complex one that I wish I could wrap my head around…  I’ve tried going on dating apps… and potentially meet someone new but every guy I see does not look like him and… I only want him and it feels like no one else will do“-

– if a child is separated from her parent and offered a new parent to make up for the old, no way the child will be happy with the exchange. The child will demand her old parent back, crying out in desperation: I only want him (or her), and no one else will do!  I think that this guy, on a deep emotional level, represents to you a parent. His girlfriend or wife represents you. You want to be where she is (with him/ with your dad or mom)!

“I just want to be completely happy and content with my own life rather than wishing for someone else’s“- the idea of being completely happy and content in life is a child’s wishful thinking. No adult is able to experience complete happiness and contentment beyond a few moment or hours at the most (or a couple of days with particular drugs.. but those drugs lose their potency over time).

The idea of complete happiness is something that children imagine, and it feels real, because children need this powerful motivation (the motivation to live happily ever after) so to accomplish the massive tasks of  learning and growing into successful adults.

“I knew he had a baby because he had her as his WhatsApp profile photo but there was no mention of a girlfriend… I learned that they got married too, again nothing on his socials! You would think he was a single man by looking at his social media…  she fell pregnant very quickly after they met… honestly I don’t think he loves her… I was born into a broken relationship, I never saw my parents in the same room and I was the product of a short term romance“-

-I think that you got hooked on this guy because, like your father and mother, he too seems to be in a broken, or in about to be broken short term romance. relationship. This similarity caused you to project the image of your real-life father, or mother (or both).. into him.

anita