Dear Arie1276:

Good evening to you, Arie. I just wish you were not alone and lonely this evening, as in most evenings: “I am home alone mostly in the evenings, and on weekends in the evening… It gets quite lonely… and I cry a lot because I wish he had a different job where he came home at a normal time and didn’t work weekends”-

– it sounds paradoxical and maybe weird, but it works, so I will suggest it: if you stop wishing that he had a different job, and that he would be home in the weekends, you will not hurt so much. It is the wishing for what we don’t have, and sometimes for what we cannot have, that is making us miserable.

There is an emptiness in your heart when he is not there, right?  And you want/ wish for that emptiness aka loneliness to be filled. It is the very wanting and wishing for it to be filled that brings the pain. Try to be at peace with the emptiness. It is possible to be at peace with emptiness.

“He talks about going back to school for a different career path, but I don’t push the issue because he doesn’t like to be pushed. I think he will figure it out eventually and do it on his own“- not pushing him  = loving him, I am impressed! Giving him the time to figure it out on his own.. that’s a loving thing to do!

Post here at any time you feel lonely, maybe it will help.

anita