Is relationships like this? Sometimes we feel grateful and blessed, but sometimes we feel exhausted….

I still have doubts on her feelings to me… moreover on christmas eve till the beginning of january i’ll be on holidays with my family, so i wont meet her…. I hope she’ll texts me in a way that she doesnt make me overthink….because on holiday i still make time for her… and i feel like she also has to make time for me especially when she stays in our hometown (not going on holidays)…

i also spend money on things are actually not needed… i feel like i want her to love me more… so before i go on holidays… i bought a cake for both us to celebrate… but i also bought a christmas hampers/parcel because im confused on what to give, either the cake or the parcel… now the parcel is with me as its not needed…

do i really have to do this much effort? I also plan to give her a gift when i went back from holiday, and also a gift to her on valentines…  i really want to put lots of efforts for her, but she sometimes still give me doubts….