Dear Farnaz:

It will be a pleasure for me to agree with you at any time that I agree with you, and there’s been lots of pleasure so far!

“That’s not surprising for me at all, my mom was basically looking forward for an opportunity to play a victim, and she enjoyed that, and she obviously thinking herself as better and more important than us. For example, if I said something that scared me to death, and made me so stressed, like a near accident, (she’d say:) I would die immediately, I wouldn’t survive that, as if it didn’t matter if that happened to me or to any other person“-

– Yes, only she (the mother) exists. There is no one else in the whole wide world but her, a victimized deity. She (the mother-deity) was born to have a superior, majestic life fitting her deity-ness, but alas: she received the short end of the stick… poor unacknowledged and mistreated deity!

“I ate (the soup) for you too, lol“- you must have left some in your plate because I am smelling and tasting it right now… delicious!

“I totally agree…  she definitely misses her power, she doesn’t know how she can reach me. When she (was) married to my dad, from the very beginning, I believe, she had a plan in her mind to make my life miserable, like Cinderella’s step mom, I guess, lol, but she was and still is so sneaky. She tried to cut my dad from me, then she tried to sabotage my education and mental health. She does it by being passive-aggressive… Screw her. I can imagine what she would say if she had a relationship with me or lives with me, in her dream of course. She would brag about her money… and she would have no boundaries and invade every inch of my space and do all crazy making stuff…  so again screw her, let her say anything she wants to say to drag me down in her eyes , nothing would change and she doesn’t have the power anymore, and screw everyone who believes her, I don’t need them“-

– this is the Farnaz that I grew to like a whole lot: I don’t need them, screw them all!

This step mother is like a teenager, 13, or 14, and an immature one, Stuck in a development age with a passive-aggressive, sneaky, gossipy, competitive and unintelligent personality, never to break free from it. I imagined for a moment being in your shoes, and this.. (not a lady) Lady Tremaine living with me, it wouldn’t have ended well, not for me and not for her… it’d be nightmare.

“I have a problem with food, I tend to eat emotionally, I gained 12 kilos after a hellish summer in Iran, when I had serious problems with my dad and his wife… I only eat sweets once a week and other days I eat dark chocolate“- talking about dark chocolate: for years I made my own very low calorie desserts-like using 100% dark chocolate cocoa powder (only 10 calories per tablespoon), adding the cocoa poweder as well as stevia/ monk fruit sugar (noncaloric natural sweeteners) to nonfat yogurt and such, no butter or oil added.

Congrats for losing 12 kilos. I used to emotionally eat on a pretty regular basis (I didn’t get to the hungry stage, so emotions were usually my motivation to eat). I never had a weight problem until I was your age: I gained 20 kilos or so, but lost it since.

“I admit I have the tendency to think he wasn’t at fault, and his wife would make life hell, but he enjoyed it, he definitely did“- when children grow up with two people, and one is bad, we tend to see the other as the good one, it’s the dichotomy of how children think.

Thanksgiving was a month ago, Nov 24 (I just googled it).

“There are too many shape and taste to choose from all the time?“- yes, true to donuts and to all foods (and true to all products) in the U.S.; don’t like it: I prefer way fewer choices because it’s easier to choose when you have fewer choices, and I don’t want to try e.x., all the many flavors of ice-cream and the many desserts.. too many calories and I don’t burn that many!

anita