Dear Hell0:

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS for the following: (1) Telling your daughters about the breakup last week, and positively preparing them for their new home/ new life, assuring them that they will be keeping the same schools and schedules, (2) Packing and moving your things to the new house, (3) Preventing your soon-to-be-ex from taking your vehicle away, (4) Preventing him from having any access to your finances,

“Yes he’s still using the same tactics – manipulation, guilting me, projection, love bombing, etc. But I’m not affected by them… When I’m around him I feel like I’m being poisoned. When I’m not, I’m at peace. I’m spending as much time as I can away from this house and I’ll be free soon!!“- I can feel your excitement about soon being free of his poison: manipulation, guilt-tripping you, love bombing you, etc.

“Please do send me any videos, advice you might happen to find on narcissists. I’ve realized fully now that he’s been an abuser all this time and I know I’ll have to heal from that. Believe it or not his x wife reached out to me through this… He bankrupted her as well, abused her emotionally, cheated and she was in counseling for years after to recover from his abuse..“-

-My advice: (1) because people fitting the NPD criteria are interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)– make sure that he has/ will have no access to your daughters, and that other people in your life who had contact with him, are aware of his exploitive personality and choose (if they are to remain in your life) to no longer be in contact with him, and (2) because people fitting the NPD criteria are very sensitive to perceived criticism or defeat, prone to feelings of shame, humiliation, and worthlessness, and are more likely to respond with anger or aggressiveness when presented with rejection, seeking revenge, for as long as you are still interacting with him in-person, be careful to not criticize, shame or humiliate him in any way (the boldfaced here is taken from Wikipedia/ narcissistic personality disorder).

anita