Hi guys,
It’s @Ivygrl, I’m sorry I didn’t return for a while.

There is a site I went to at one point, called YWS aka “Young Writers Society”.
( https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/index.php ) . But they restricted me and banned me out of the site indefinitely and permanently. And It was all my fault. My relationships from that site involved pimping, spamming, and trying to get friends that understand my questions in MY ANGLE, to get help that I need for my writing. I have (and have had) writer’s fatigue, writer’s block, and felt like I got an empty, sad, black hole anytime I enter this site. When I learned about the permanent ban in my account, It’s was so jarring and upsetting, I cried and wished I would run inside a hole and quit. And even wish to die and commit suicide myself. One I see this website, I get in tears and cry like a baby wanting something. It bothers me, because no one likes me in this site and they me to quit entering. I will never remove this memory, I will just dig a straight hole and hurt myself if I can’t figure out a solution to forgive. Affirmations and positive thinking won’t help, it’s going to be too strong to control.

Every time I’m entering this site, I am digging an even bigger hole in the spot I’m digging at with a machine drill. What am I supposed to do?

The good news is I decided to go to Reddit and discord for better help instead of YWS .

For New Years resolutions:
– Goal 1 is to make my own regular American novels and make my own Original English Light Novels (based on Asian Light Novels). And maybe I can make drawings and comics on the side, when I’m not working on light novels.

– Goal 2 is to work to receive achieving grades for my report cards and achieve my classwork and homework at school to get free time.

– Goal 3 is to practice and play the ukulele. And Goal 4 is to play my new limited edition Uno game (The Uno artiste Takashi Murakami limited edition game, that my mom gave me) with my friends.

I don’t know how to achieve Goal 1 and Goal 2 for the New Years resolution yet. What should I do?

And I almost forgot I’m now 18 years old because my birthday came and years passed when I didn’t go back to this site for a while, because in the previous years I was 16-17 y.o.
If you want to be my friend, hit me up! And if you want, we can chat in Google chat, email, Reddit, and/or discord.

Maybe my family is right, they will never relax for me, and think I don’t need help. My stepdad becoming worse at jokes, and I’m angry at him, if he keeps farting at my brother I desperately want to hide into a hole and the give up.
From, @Ivygrl . Please if anyone NEW is here, please respond to my message. that includes YOU, @Helcat !