Dear Hamza:

You are very welcome and thank you for your very kind words, a pleasure for me to read! I read your recent posts and then re-read most of your original post, taking my time.

“Do I simply wait for her to break NC (which she may never do given my last message basically said ‘I’ll come back to you as soon as I can’ thereby unintentionally putting the ball back in my court)?“- no, don’t wait for her to contact you because you told her that you will come back to her, and a strong man keeps his word!

“Do I wait to bump into her naturally? (Which could happen as we live in a similar neighbourhood)?“- no, a strong man does not avoid taking action and waits for a chance-meeting, a strong man (true to a strong woman as well) makes things happen in a direct way.

“Do I re-initiate contact and say I’ve had time to process and let’s be friends?“- yes to the first part, no to the second. In regard to the second part; no to friendship because you don’t want to be friends with her, you want to be lovers, so suggesting/ agreeing to be friends would be dishonest on your part. Keeping in line with the strong-man themes: a strong man is honest about his feelings and motivations.

Let’s look back at part of your timeline: in mid-Nov 2022, you sent her an email saying that you learned a lot and that you “fully accepted the breakup and that it was best thing” for you and for her. At the end of Nov, in a meeting with her, you got emotional and told her: “I’m not saying we get back together but would you at least be open-minded to getting to know a different side of me? “, which showed that unlike what you said earlier, you did not fully accept the breakup and that in your mind, it was not the best thing.

In her email, she told you (paraphrased): I am not in-love with you anymore, so I am okay with getting to know a different side of you as a friend, but I am afraid that being friends will not be enough for you and you will get hurt all over again.  After her response, you emailed her in early Dec: “I feel unsure / vulnerable about the whole situation and need a bit of time to process and work on myself a bit more and I’ll come back to her as soon as I am able to do so“.

Your early Dec email above was very honest: good job on your part! And seems that she appreciated this email as well and positively re she responded, saying that she feels vulnerable and scared too, just like you feel (“‘also feels vulnerable‘ and ‘the whole situation is scary for me as well‘”).

Back to your last words to her: “I feel unsure / vulnerable about the whole situation and need a bit of time to process“– I am asking you: are you currently sure that you do not want (and will not be okay with) a friendship with her, and that what you want and desire is a romantic relationship with her?

anita