Dear Katrine Nielsen:

“I think I get so jealous because she is so beautiful…  my own insecurities get triggered“- what if you are so beautiful too, Katrine… ? And what if you knew that you are beautiful?

“He’s always around other women, he will even walk up and have his Tea with female guests: that made me jealous too, he will join them (the three Ausie girls) during his break if he sees them but never did that with me“- this was my experience too, and for decades! Guys (and girls) preferred to be with others over being with me, and it hurt a whole lot. Looking back, I think that I understand why this was the case, why they preferred others over me: I was unpleasant to be around because I was too anxious, too distracted by my own insecure thoughts, thoughts about my perceived inferiority.

I wrote above perceived inferiority because during all those many years, I believed that I was inferior to others, even though the reality was that I was not inferior to others. But believing it made me behave.. strangely, not fun to be around. And so, my peers preferred those who were relaxed and fun to be around.

Fast forward to the present, I no longer believe that I am inferior to others (what a relief!), and as a result, I am more relaxed around others and sometimes I am fun to be around.

anita

P.S. You and Tee submitted posts 4 minutes apart, so you may not be aware of her post, the one right above your most recent post.