Dear Lily:

I want to add your words (the boldface and italicized features are my addition) to indicate what I refer to as you asking him questions being like a mental itch= obsession:

“When we got back together we both asked each other if we saw anyone else or slept with anyone else while broken up… About three/ four months ago..  I asked him again if he had anything go on with anyone else while we weren’t together.. I told him to tell me the truth or I would leave knowing that he lied to me… he ended up telling me he drunkenly hooked up with a mutual friend… I asked how it happened..  I asked if he came onto her and he said it was a mutual thing… I asked him why he didn’t initially tell me... A few weeks after he told me I felt so upset that I asked him the exact date of when it happened..  I asked him about that and he said yes he did come onto her (which he lied about initially). I asked if he asked her not to tell me… Since he told me this a few months ago I cannot stop thinking about it… he tells me he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, tells me it was a mistake and we all make mistakes.. We got into a fight about it about a month ago and he said he no longer wants to talk about it anymore and won’t answer any more questions… I’m not sure what to do, I feel scared that he’s still hiding something from me.. (I) want to ask to see when they texted to hang out…”.

anita