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Hi Tee,
Yes, I just feel like it’s written on my face plus people always told me if i guy likes you would know but I’m always in doubt. Like with the guy last year, he was in the top bunk i was in the bottom one and I would put up a towel to get more privacy he came up and told me that he could ask in reception for another one as to help me. They told me that he did it because he liked me, but he was a gentleman so i didn’t think too much of it.
I don’t avoid eye contact when they are speaking directly to me, but if in a group i tend to avoid eye contact with the one i like (same as the guy from the hostel does) i go go over to them and start conversations, and if i see them in the bar i go home because of my anxiety. I’ll reply when spoken to but I keep my distance. Like when he kept saying but who is gonna pour me a beer? I felt that by waiting the 30 min he would figure out i did it because of him and he would see me as clingy, but looking back waiting to go with two colleagues to go to the same party wasn’t gonna make me look clingy or weird.
Yes I definitly see a pattern. It was so weird that it’s easier to be close to someone you don’t have feelings for than someone i like. But yeah now i can start to break this pattern and I didn’t realise that I already did 🙂