Dear helcat,

Thank you for wishing me well!

So today i just had a dinner (still on chinese new year) with my family and also 2 of my father’s siblings… my father have 5 siblings but as i said previously we are not in good terms with most of them so only 2 came…. One is my father’s little brother who came with his wife and children so its 4 of them… Then my father’s little sister with his boyfriend so its 2 of them… and i invited that girl to join our dinner and she came…

So although my dad are still in good terms with these 2 siblings… we are not close with them, just dinner for the sake of formality… luckily the dinner is in a restaurant… so as our dinner is very quiet, because the restaurant is quite crowded… our table doesnt sound so quiet…

She also asked me where are my dad’s other siblings… and i told her they cant come (i didnt told her we are not in good terms with them)

After the dinner, this girl didnt ask me a lot, i hope she doesnt feel weird eating dinner with my dad’s family…. I was so afraid that she’ll leave me due to this…. As i didnt talk a lot there, even with my cousin (the daughter and son of my dad’s little brother)…. I keep feeling worried that she might feel my family isnt a “cool family” that can be posted on social media and decides to find other guys who has a “social media family material”

Because her sister’s boyfriend family is social media material…. I keep feeling anxious that she might want like that… and i cant provide that for her… I cant even provide her a cousin that she can talk to… Cause i know some guys who had a “cool family” that can be posted on social media…. I’m so worried that she might leave me for them…. Because this girl likes to post on social media, but with my family she cant…

I’m so grateful that i met her, and i wanna cherish and do my best for her… but there are some things that i cant change like my family….

Also im feeling anxious with her sister’s boyfriend, today i met him on a restaurant… and we greet at each other, but it doesnt seem like he respect me… like an arrogant way of greeting…. Her sister’s boyfriend is very wealthy as he has a big company and he has a family that is social media material… i cant compare to him….

I really want to be with this girl, but the obstacles are a lot… because due to her sister dating that type of guy… i need to raise my quality…. Increase my standard for myself….

I also have visited that girl’s house while her sister and her boyfriend isnt there, i talk a lot with her mother and we our conversations connect and i am so happy… i feel happy coming to her house…

I feel very lucky meeting her… like very very lucky… i really hope i can keep doing my best as i wanna cherish her so much….
I keep trying my best although sometimes it gives me intense anxiety, cause i dont wanna make mistakes that’ll lead her to want to leave me for another guy with better qualities or better family (social media material family)